James Arrington, Highland 7th Ward
Recently my wife and I welcomed our youngest child home from his mission. His older brother and each of his four sisters each chose to serve as well, and for 5 years we were always missing someone in the family. At one point four of our kids were serving at the same time. Their closeness in age has brought many challenges over the years as we tried hard to keep them fed and clothed and active.
When we chose to adopt children from Haiti and China we accepted the idea that we were bringing crisis and trauma into our home. We broke together and then over the years we healed together. It was crazy hard, but here are some of the greatest lessons we have learned:
- When kids need healing the answer is not time-out, it’s TIME-IN. And when that time together is both emotionally-nourishing and sensory-rich, the result is a mind and heart that are full of good memories, readily accessible in our psyche for easy recall.
- The harmony of heaven comes as we cherish one another’s differences. The key is in the word “cherish”. It isn’t enough to tolerate or simply respect those differences, but to really treasure them.
- Heaven can start now if we cherish each other and champion the infinite uniqueness that resides within each of us.
Over the years we have found joy watching them solve life’s problems together. They get along so well and look after each other better than Shelby or I could ever take care of them. We have come to learn that one of the blessed secrets to their unity has been three fold: 1) Their closeness in age meant they were each struggling through the same stages of life together, 2) In our pursuit of a nourishing home environment we encouraged them to support each other through life, and 3) Their stark differences have eliminated competition and fostered a much cherished unity.
They are very different from one another. As you can see from the picture, we have a black son, a white son, a black daughter, a Chinese daughter, a brunette, and a blonde. Their taste in music, fashion, friends, activities, sports, entertainment, food, and fun couldn’t have been more different. If there were possibly 6 polar opposites, they would each have occupied those poles. Yet something magical has happened with all of this diversity, they have come to cherish one another’s differences and champion each other’s strengths. The result has been a sense of unity that could only come through the power of diversity.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ invites us to seek the treasures of heaven, instead of this world. We are this treasure, and our relationships are more valuable than any resources, any status boost, or any earthly pleasure could bring. Harmony in life and in our relationships is a delicious taste of what we can expect in eternity and worth everything we can do to obtain it.