By Justin Wilson, Highland 11th Ward
I’ve noticed that many faith stories follow a familiar arc: a problem arises, prayer and fasting follow, and a miracle resolves it. God grants the wish, faith grows. I’ve had exactly that experience — and one that looked nothing like it. Both taught me something I still have to remind myself of regularly.
Our second child spent most of the third trimester in a breech position. As the delivery date approached, the risks to both baby and mom grew more real. We tried everything — exercises, specialist visits, prayer, fasting — and he simply wouldn’t move. The week before delivery, we went in for a final manual attempt. He had already turned on his own. I felt the gratitude of what seemed like an unmistakable answer to prayer.
That same year I had spent the better part of preparing for investment banking recruiting during my MBA. The preparation was consuming. The interviews couldn’t have gone better, and yet I failed to secure an offer.
Same faith. Same effort. Opposite outcomes.
What I’ve come to believe — and keep having to relearn — is that faith was never meant to be a transaction. Heavenly Father isn’t a vending machine who dispenses blessings when we enter the right combination. He is a Father who is deeply aware of us, even when we can’t see what He sees.
There’s a verse in Matthew 10:39 I come back to often: that we find our life by losing it for the Lord’s sake. I don’t always understand the why behind what happens or doesn’t. But I’ve found that choosing to trust Him anyway — placing faith not in a desired outcome, but in Him — is where the real spiritual work lives. That choice, made again and again, is what faith actually is.